I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
