A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
