I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
