I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize