I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
