I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
