Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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