I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
