Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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