just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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