You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
