Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
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I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
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so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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