Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
