It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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