i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
