in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
