My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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