im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
