some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He passed out mid-signature
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
