Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize