Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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