Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
