Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
