Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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