you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
