just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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