sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
