He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
