Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
