Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
