I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize