East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
