I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
