Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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