wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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