weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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