To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
