Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
