Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
