Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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