Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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