whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i came on her dog
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
