I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
40s are totally the cure
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
