it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
