when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
