you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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