She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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