it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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