I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
