I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
