so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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