i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
