Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
