i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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