Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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