PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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