Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
