so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It's official drugs can't kill me
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize