Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
