Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The uberlube is also flammable
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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