I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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