My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
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Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
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Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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