I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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