I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
