You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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