so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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