so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
tell me about the eggs
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
