I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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