So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
