I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
