your thong is hanging out like whoa
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
