Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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