Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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